Today’s culture is about intensity. We are told to go hard and achieve more. If dieting, go hard, be strict, don’t cheat, focus on the one goal, until you lose the pounds.

But what happens afterwards? You expend so much mental energy striving towards the goal that, when you achieve it, you completely stop all exertion. Our habits can completely swing the other way, until you rediscover all of your lost weight, and more.

It’s like driving on the highway. In your youth, you are accustomed to eating frivolously, similar to speeding in the fastest lane. But then you become a parent at the same time that your body metabolism slows down. The weight creeps up. You want to make some health changes, so you hit the brake, switch three lanes over, and go as slow as you can. You choke down vegetables, say no to all the desserts, and lift the heaviest weights possible. When you hit your goal, you pat yourself on the back, smash the gas pedal, and return to your old habits, back into the fastest lane of frivolous eating.

Eating healthy should not be so drastic. The slower you build your habits, the longer it takes for habits to go away. It’s like easing from the fastest lane on the highway to one lane over and learning to enjoy it. Set a couple of tiny, achievable goals and learn to enjoy the new norm. When you’re ready, switch over one more lane. At any point, if you have the urge to hit that gas pedal, try to maintain a consistent throttle to keep your speed steady instead.

Be a gentle steward of your body, so it functions well. Health is about balance and temperance, not intensity. Don’t step on the gas pedal too hard.